Being a Parent

Being a parent can be one of the most rewarding jobs of a lifetime. We get the joys of teaching them right from wrong, instill respect for themselves and others, good morals and manners and self worth.  This of course is all in addition to the “normal” responsibilities of a parent such as keeping them safe, providing for them, loving and nurturing them.  Getting to see all of life’s milestones for your children such as their first step, their first word, their first day of school, and graduation to name a few, is almost bittersweet.  It’s such a joy to see what smart, loving and independent little individuals they are becoming but at the same time so hard to see them grow so fast.  When our children are little it’s so easy for us to get wrapped up in the day to day and we take for granted they are still little and we have years of time to teach them, play with them, and watch them grow.  However, I know I have been told a time or two that I needed to enjoy all the time I have with my daughter because before I know it she will be all grown up and on her own.  Which is true, it seems like just yesterday we were bringing her home from the hospital after she was born and now she is this beautiful smart little girl who plays with her baby dolls and takes care of them much like I did when she was an infant.  Sometimes I scratch my head and say where did the time go and when did she learn how to do that?

However, being a parent also has its less rewarding times.  Some of life’s lessons come from some of the hardest situations.  We’ve all heard the saying, “sometimes you have to let them fall so they can learn to get back up.”  As a parent, we never want to see our children hurt, physically or emotionally.  We want to protect them from all evils in life and try to keep them as safe and innocent as long as possible.  But that simply just can’t be done.   As hard as it is we must let our children learn and grow by any means necessary so that when they reach adulthood they are fully capable of living on their own and supporting themselves.  However, this is not always evident, in any given situation this might be an opportunity where mom and dad have to step back their role in being the protectors and help them learn all the necessary lessons in the particular situation.  For example: bullying.  Your child comes home from school and informs you that another child is making fun of them.  As a parent it is your immediate instinct to march into the school and take it up with the principal or call the bullying child’s parent, which is all acceptable to do, but I firmly believe not before you try and teach your child to handle the situation and resolve it on their own.  After all, mom and dad are not going to be around forever and there are bullies in all walks of life; childhood and adulthood and if they do not learn how to handle these situations on their own then they could possibly spend a lifetime of allowing others to treat them poorly.  Teaching them how to handle such a situation isn’t just showing them how to handle the immediate issue, but in the long term it’s also teaching them how to stand up and protect themselves, problem solve, and instill a sense of independence and confidence.  Like I said, these opportunities are not always so clear, so as a parent you need to learn to step back in a situation and evaluate before reacting, after all isn’t that what we want to teach our kids as well?

At the end of the day, looking back there is always something good that comes out of any situation/lesson even if at the time it isn’t evident.  The important thing is that we can look back and see the valuable lesson we gained from it and be able to use what we learned in our everyday lives.  I think we can all agree that we want what’s best for our children and while there are obviously different ways to raise and teach a child, generally speaking we want them to all be loving, caring, strong and independent people of the world.

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