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A Little Thank You Goes a Long Way

A few months ago, my husband found out that an old neighbor of his was diagnosed with cancer. He went to her home that day, cut her grass and told her he would continue do so for the remainder of the season.  He also donated food for a benefit the community had to help her with living costs. A few days after her benefit, he received a “thank you” card in the mail. In the card, she expressed her gratitude for the things he had done for her. A thank you card.  It is amazing how two words can mean so much to a person who has done something nice for someone.  It’s recognition that serves as a meaning of appreciation instead of entitlement.  It’s just plain courteous. Just in case you need a reason to be courteous, I thought I would share some from an article in Forbes Magazine: 1.  It’s the right thing to do. 2.  Jimmy Fallon does it. 3.  It sets you apart:  “If you want to stand out, to be more polished, probably the easiest thing you can do is write that thank-you note.” –Heather Wiese, owner of Bell’Invito. 4.  Gratitude is good for the brain:  The more you practice gratitude, the more attuned you are to it and the more you can enjoy its psychological benefits. 5.  Handwritten letters perpetuate a very important part of our culture:  “When you write, there is no response to distract you from reaching within and exploring exactly what you feel and want to say”.-Florence Isaacs in Just a Note to Say. Show appreciation for acts of kindness.  Give acknowledgement of that action and let that special person know that their kindness left an impact and was appreciated.

Tips on Taking the Witness Stand

This past week, I was able to get my first up-close look at how a trial works from start to finish. Prior to this past week, the closest I have ever been to a trial is through a textbook when looking at famous cases such as Plessy v. Ferguson or Miranda v. Arizona. When reading a textbook, I can’t help but relate it to the closest depiction of what a trial looks like and how it feels to actually be in a court of law. For me, the first examples that came to mind were television shows and movies such as Law and Order and Legally Blonde. Needless to say, the first morning I was feeling quite nervous about what to expect. After the first day of trial, my nerves were calmed and I realized how different the process was in regards to how I grew up watching it on television. Then, I started to think about all of the people who had to testify and actually be the center of attention in the courtroom, and how much pressure that would have been if I had been in that situation. Here are a few tips on how to feel confident in the courtroom when asked to testify: 1. Dress Appropriately When appearing in court, it is important that you are dressed professionally. Wear something that you would feel comfortable wearing to a job interview. This will make you feel confident since everyone else that is appearing in court usually wears the same attire. 2.     Entering the Courtroom When entering the courtroom to testify, be prepared for that brief moment when all eyes will be on you. Do not be afraid to make eye contact with the judge, lawyer, jury, or anyone else who may be in the room. 3.     When taking the oath When taking the oath, remember to maintain eye contact and really listen to what the person relaying the oath is saying. Keep your body language positive and make sure to create a great first impression. 4.     Prepare for the questions you will be asked First, remember to breathe. Listen carefully to the questions being asked, and never be afraid to admit that you may not know the answer. Answer all questions being asked to the best of your ability. In turn, remember to not ramble on and be as specific as possible to avoid confusion. 5.     Remain Calm Entering a courtroom is intimidating enough, but being asked to testify can lead you to a whole new level of stress. Remember to remain calm and that the judge, jury, lawyers, and so on are people just like you. Never let the scenes involving Reese Witherspoon ( Legally Blonde) or Jack McCoy ( Law and Order) make you feel any pressure when taking the witness stand.

Let the Vacations Begin

Why is it that when we plan vacation we forget to plan for the time that it takes to get ready to leave and the time we need to recover from the trip home? Trying to pack for vacation is unbelievable. Whether you fly or drive, you always need to ask yourself the following questions: What do I need to take? How much do I need to take? Should I just buy certain things when I get to my destination?  These are good questions to ask yourself, but once you get the suitcase out it’s on.  You pack everything in sight including the kitchen sink.  If you’re like me, you unpack and start over. Sometimes I do this three or four times. I’m what is known as an “over packer”. Next, you have to make sure hotel, excursions, dinner reservations, entertainment plans, etc. are all in place for when you arrive at your vacation destination. Most vacations you need to do this ahead of time due to the high volume of people that will be in the same area as you.  This can be extremely stressful, especially if you are going with others and you’re the one in charge of making all the arrangements. If you’re not stressed out from planning out the trip, then you may get stressed from making arrangements for your pets. If you have pets, make sure your house is secure and make sure things are in place in case something would happen while you’re gone. By the time you make it to your vacation date, you may be stressed out to the max because of all the things you needed to get done before hand.  While on vacation, if you are like me, you may have a day or two to relax before you start thinking about how you’re going to pack to head home and all the things that need to be done once you get back home from vacation. So my question is, why do we go on vacation if it stresses us out so much?  My answer: Because we all need a little time to be with our family and friends, have a little fun and not worry about things. With that being said, stress is always going to be in our lives, how we choose to deal with it is up to us. I choose to enjoy my vacation as much as possible. I always look forward to coming home rested and refreshed. So get yourself and your family ready for vacation and enjoy it! You’re the one that made all the arrangements and if things don’t go as planned, don’t stress over them. Trust me it all works out in the end! Rock on, vacation people. Rock on.

A Summer Treat

Wikipedia defines my favorite summer dessert, THE S’MORE as: “A traditional nighttime campfire treat popular in the United States, consisting of a fire-roasted marshmallow and a layer of chocolate sandwiched between two pieces of graham cracker.” I remember, as a rookie s’more roaster, using the original marshmallow, chocolate bar and graham cracker.  Even though it was delicious, these ingredients have since become somewhat boring to me as the summers went by. Throughout the years, I have changed it up a bit.  I have used peanut butter cups, white chocolate, chocolate bars with caramel, chocolate bars with peanuts, marshmallows tossed in coconut, strawberry flavored marshmallows, graham crackers with sugar and cinnamon and even chocolate chip cookies in replacement of the graham crackers. At one desperate point in my life, during the winter season, I had actually tried making a S’more by roasting a marshmallow over the blue flame of my gas stove and a fork as my “stick”.  Trust me when I tell you, it isn’t even close to the same taste and isn’t worth the mess. Being that summer is almost here, I am looking forward to sitting next to a blaring campfire with my kids and teaching them one of the most important life lessons…how to roast the marshmallows to perfection.

Eating while driving

The Most Important Meal of the Day

For years it has been said that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Is this really the case? Is the saying a good marketing strategy to help breakfast brands sell their products? Or is it a way to convince youngsters to eat before heading off to school? While most agree that breakfast is a great way to get the day started, it may not scientifically be the case. According to Popular Science magazine, there has been a large amount of research put into proving whether or not it is the most important meal of the day. Scientists have yet to discover the best time of day for hu first meal. One dietician has explained that it truly depends on a person’s daily routine and age. Some studies have been successful. For example, children who consume breakfast at the start of their day perform better than those who do not consume breakfast. For adults, the study once again points to individual habits and routines. Some prefer breakfast as soon as they wake up, while others choose to hold off and wait until lunch to eat their first meal. Although the question, “Is breakfast really the most important meal of the day?” has a wishy-washy answer, scientists explain that the most important thing is to eat when you are hungry. Reference: http://www.popsci.com/eating-breakfast

Mock Car Crash: The Production of Keeping Our Kids Safe

About four years ago, my 17-year-old daughter came home and told me she had volunteered me to participate in the mock car crash they were having at school. At the time, I figured I’d be applying makeup, making sure everyone was placed in the appropriate positions, helping with lines, etc.  This was no surprise to me because I had helped out behind the scenes for previous productions performed by the students.  However, this one was very different. I was performing this time, and the part I was playing was not one that I ever want to have to deal with in real life.  I was given the part of the mother whose daughter was killed in a car accident on her prom night due to getting in a vehicle with a drunk driver. I thought that I was just going to walk up to my daughter with a police officer to confirm it was her, bow my head and walk off the field.  Easy. Two days before the mock crash, my daughter and I were at a restaurant when the Ohio State Highway Trooper who was in charge of this event walked in.  He came to pick up some empty beer bottles that were being collected to use as props.  Of course, I asked him what was expected from me. He sat down and showed me a diagram of the field, placement of ambulances, police cars, the life flight helicopter and hearse.  After all of that, he looked at me and stressed the importance of my role. He said, “You are a big deal.  You are the mom of every student in that stadium.  It is your responsibility to make sure every child leaves thinking that they never want to put their mom in that position.” The morning of the mock crash came and it was a huge deal.  When the time came, a police car took me to the “scene of the accident” where I ran up to my daughter who was in an unzipped body bag.  I screamed and cried as the police officers pulled me off of her.  As the officer and I walked back to the police car, I felt sick to my stomach.  I had to remind myself that this was a mock car crash, and that I would see my child after it was over.  Sadly, there are moms who don’t get that privilege. Afterwards, I had school faculty come up to me and tell me how there were students with tears in their eyes as they watched this all go down.  They also got caught up in the moment of watching kids their age being taken away from blood stained cars by helicopter, by ambulance, and the one, my daughter, being taken away in a hearse. Since that day, I have done four other mock car crashes at various schools hosted by the Ohio State Highway Patrol.  It was such a privilege to partake in a program to educate our youth of the importance of staying sober while behind the wheel.

EMPLOYEE RIGHTS UNDER THE WARN ACT

The Worker Adjustment and Retraining Notification Act (“WARN”) Act, a federal law, became effective on February 4, 1989. The Act protects workers by requiring employers to provide notice 60 days in advance of covered plant closings and covered mass layoffs. This notice is given to affected workers or their representatives, such as a labor union. WARN applies to large employers, specifically, an employer must give notice of impending lay-offs or reductions in force if they have 100 or more full-time employees, or at least 100 employees who work a combined 4,000 hours or more per week.  “Full time,” for these purposes, means working 20 or more hours per week.  Furthermore, employees must have worked for the employer for at least six of the 12 months before notice is required.  While business owners and partners are not entitled to notice under the Act, the protections of WARN extend to hourly workers as well as salaried workers, managers, and supervisors. Notice is required to reach the affected workers at least 60 days before a closing or layoff.  When the individual employment separations involving a closing or layoff occur on more than one day, the notices are due to the representatives at least 60 days before each separation.  If a worker is not represented, each worker’s notice is due at least 60 days before that worker’s separation. There are some exceptions to the notice requirement.  The Act does not require an employer to give notice if a plant closing is the closing of a temporary facility, or if the closing or mass layoff is the result of the completion of a particular project or undertaking.  This exemption applies only if the workers were hired with the express understanding that their employment was temporary and limited to the duration of the facility, project, or undertaking.  An employer may not avoid the notice requirement by labeling an ongoing project as “temporary” in order to evade its obligations under WARN. Employers who fail to abide by the WARN act may be penalized.  An employer who violates WARN provisions by ordering a plant closing or mass layoff without providing appropriate notice is liable to each aggrieved employee for an amount including back pay and benefits for the period of violation, up to 60 days.

Disconnecting for the Summer

Do you ever wonder how much time you spend on social media or attached to a mobile device in your typical day? Have you ever been out to dinner with the family and looked around just to observe how many people were either on a telephone call or flipping through their phone while they sit waiting for their food to arrive?  Today, I want to share with you my own observations and self-realizations about how I have come to understand that it is necessary to step back, unplug and unwind. I, like millions of others, have a Facebook account.  Since I live away from most of my friends and family I am on Facebook daily in order to stay connected.  It is a convenient way to keep up to date with what is going on in everyone’s lives, to make announcements of achievements and celebrations and to stay involved when life just doesn’t allow the time for a face to face visit or even a telephone call.  The same can be said for text messaging.  However, while there are a lot of benefits to having a social media account and mobile devices that you can access nearly everything you would ever need from, there are also some significant drawbacks to today’s technology. It is very easy to misconstrue or misunderstand a text message or any kind of electronic message.  Since it is not face-to-face communication or even a telephone call, there is no way to get a sense of the tone or emotion of the message being delivered. This makes it very easy to misunderstand what the individual is trying to communicate.  When speaking with someone on the phone you can hear the tone in their voice which gives you an understanding if someone is upset, frustrated, happy, etc.  This can also be said in regard to a face to face conversation.  Body language and facial expressions also have a lot to do with communication and how the individuals interpret the true message of the conversation at hand. I also cannot help but feel that social media and texting can sometimes be a major distraction.  Of course, we already know this due to the laws against texting and driving.  However, driving aside, I have experienced this distraction first hand.  I cannot tell you how many times I have been in the middle of a conversation with someone and a text message or a Facebook message comes in and I feel compelled to check and answer that message.  When that happens and I act on that impulse to check the message, it is disrespectful to the person I am speaking with. The same goes for thumbing through Facebook.  If you are going through your news feed or chatting with a friend, it is impossible to focus or concentrate on anything else that may be going on around you at any given moment. While today’s technology has created more convenient and immediate ways to communicate it takes the personalization out of the communication and sometimes can be more distracting than helpful.  We live in a very fast paced world.  In most family households, both parents work full-time.  On top of your full-time job, you may have children that are involved in activities that also require a great deal of time away from home and traveling. Being distracted by an electronic device can take away from time spent with family members. I feel it is important to step back, self-evaluate and put things into perspective. For me, personally, it is almost summer and my little girl will soon be out of school.  I work full time and my husband and I are first year business owners.  Life is clearly busy for my family.  As I sit back and think about ways I personally can make my life a little less stressful and chaotic, unplugging from social media and relying less on my electronic devices to solely communicate with people is just what the doctor ordered.

women comfort

Tossing the Focus of Fear

The other day, my middle child came to me and expressed her interest in trying out for the cheerleading squad for the upcoming football season. Just to give you a little background, she is a 16-year-old teenager who just moved to this school and is one of the “new kids”.   At her prior school, she had three years of cheerleading and the fourth year she tried out, she didn’t make it; and it devastated her. I’m going to admit that I am surprised that she signed up to try out.  This is a way bigger school and a little more intimidating, but when that sign-up sheet was posted, she chose to give it another try. For the past two weeks, I have been outside watching her stretch, jump, kick and practice cheers and sidelines.  One day, she came to me and said two words that can defeat the strongest person’s ability to accomplish anything…”I’m scared”.  She was reconsidering her decision to try out and cross her name off the list. Fear - Such a strong emotion with very little substance most of the time.  My advice to her was to replace the “I’m scared I won’t make the squad” thoughts with “what if I do make the squad” thoughts.  It took a while, but soon that negativity went out the window and the positive demeanor took over.  You see, if you focus on the fear there is no way you can see a positive outcome.  Don’t look around at who you feel may be your competition.  Look at yourself and do your best, because your best is the only thing you can offer.  However, your best is unable to shine if fear takes over and looms its negative, dark cloud in the way. Tryouts are this weekend.  Is my daughter nervous?  Of course she is.  Is she fearful?  No.  There is no doubt in my mind that she will do the best she can.  If the outcome isn’t what she is hoping for, then rest assured, it will not be because fear stood in the way of her attempt to try.

cyber

Taken Over by the Bitmoji

So many teenagers are swallowed up by social media. For some it’s such an addiction that they have a hard time functioning without their devices and apps. Honestly, I have never been too eager to get involved in the whole social media phenomenon. Being really honest, who in the world has the time?  To my surprise, there are quite a few adults who have jumped on the social media train. Social media can be a great way to keep in touch with family, friends and businesses in our fast-paced world, but does everyone in the public have to know your personal business?  With that said, I think there is just as much fabrications and negativity that can come from it as the good and you must be careful. I choose just stay away from it all.  My business is my business and if I need input, I will ask a person for it directly. HOWEVER – my teenage daughter Aleigha recently created Bitmoji people for my husband and me.  If you do not know what a Bitmoji is, you will have even more fun once you decide to try it.  A Bitmoji is a little replica (almost caricature) of yourself that you can attach multiple expressions and phrases to.  You can change your clothes and hairstyles and search a phrase for exactly what you want to say.  Our text messaging now consists primarily of pictures rather than words, and a lot more laughter, I must admit.  I am finding that more and more of my middle-aged friends (40s) are having a blast with this app. My phone is now filled with my Bitmoji friends.  This is all done on our own private devices for sharing fun and laughter with each other.  Who doesn’t need some of that? If you’ve not created your own Bitmoji, I encourage you to do so.  This app is a way of expressing your true feelings rather than a straight forward boring text that sometimes makes it hard to decipher one’s true thoughts on a matter.  With a Bitmoji, you can show a person exactly what you intend to come across.  Have some fun and give it a try.

Are High Heels Bad for Feet?

“I’m not afraid of heights. Have you seen my shoes?” If you’re a Carrie Bradshaw fan, you’re probably familiar with that quote. What Carrie doesn’t mention, though, is that high heels are more harmful to the health of regular wearers than one may think. According to NBC News, high heels are one of the most common causes of foot pain among women. Wearing high heels forces your ankles to bend forward, like you're standing on your tip toes. It restricts blood circulation in your lower limbs which can lead to spider veins. It can also shorten the muscles in your calves and stiffen your Achilles tendon, leading to pain and muscle spasms. And don’t forget about your knees. According to a study from Stanford University, heels that are 3.5 inches or higher put enough stress on a woman’s knees that it could increase the risk of osteoarthritis. Heels can also cause back problems. For your body to stay balanced on heels, your spine needs to sway unnaturally, which adds stress to the muscles in your spine. This results in a sore lower back. If you’re a high heel wearer and are experiencing some of the above issues, perhaps it is a good idea to see your physician before they get worse. To avoid such issues, NBC advises decreasing the amount of days you wear heels — or change into flats or walking shoes when you leave work. At the end of each day, spend a few minutes stretching your quads, calves and hip flexors. After all, fashion doesn't have to be painful.

Life Decisions

When his senior year came to an end, my oldest son, Ryan, decided he would go to WVU to fulfill his dream of becoming an anesthesiologist. However, coming from a very close knit family posed some problems for Ryan.  When he got to college, he was lost.  He didn’t know how to handle being out in the big wide world, let alone at one of the most reputable party universities.  Needless to say, he did not fare well with the college life.  Although he made it through one year of school, he decided he didn’t want to attend a university or go away from home for school.  So, he went to WVNCC.  Now, as a parent, I had very mixed feelings about this decision.  I was excited he would be back in our home, but in the same breath, I knew he needed to learn to be on his own.  When I found out about half way through the first semester at WVNCC that he was skipping classes and was failing, I sat him down and had a little talk with him.  My speech basically consisted of something along these lines: I don’t care what you decide to do with your life, because essentially, it is your life and you’re the one that has to be happy with your choices.  You’re intelligent, things come easy for you and you have a memory beyond anyone’s wildest beliefs.  Why you can’t see this and become what you’ve always wanted to be is beyond me.  You have the ability to do or be anything you want.  No matter what you decide to do with your life, I will always be very proud of you. However, you cannot live with mom and dad for the rest of your life. Now, I didn’t realize this little speech of mine would have such an impact. Apparently it did, though, because within a month or so he told me had had joined the United States Air Force!  WAIT…WHAT!!!! Ryan had never spoken of the military that I can remember.  It was never a thought or option.  This came completely out of the blue and was the biggest shock and surprise of our entire family’s life.  Thank you to all the men and women who have served and continue to serve our country.

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