Because I work full time and did not want to vote at my local polling place during the week, I decided to VOTE EARLY. I had an awesome experience on Saturday, May 7, 2016, at approximately 11:30 a.m. Voting early took place for me at the Ohio County Courthouse in Downtown Wheeling. I found a parking place right in front of the courthouse. Finding a parking place is a pretty difficult during the week, especially when there is a trial in session. I walked in with three others who were also voting early. I went in to the voting room on the first floor, which was very convenient. I was immediately asked my name and then given everything in order to vote right away. I took these documents to the voting booth and a gentleman gave me a short explanation/instructions on how to use the voting booth. There was no waiting, no long lines and it probably took me a total of 10 minutes to vote early. After voting, they hand you an “I Voted” sticker to wear, if you’d like. I wore my sticker to my brother’s house to visit and forgot I had the sticker on my shirt. My niece and nephew asked me right away, “I see you voted. Where did you vote?” I said, “Yes, just a few minutes ago at the Ohio County Courthouse.” Then with a quirky look on my face I asked, “How did you know?” They started to laugh and said, “You have an ‘I Voted’ sticker on your blouse. . . duh!” I did ask the volunteers at the courthouse if their day had been busy so far. They all chimed right in and said: “It was steady.” Then I asked them how the weekday early voting had turned out. They said it was busy, especially at lunchtime. Using my early voting experience last Saturday, I would definitely recommend voting early on a Saturday. So, come and join me this November 2016 for the Presidential Election and VOTE EARLY at your local courthouse. You can either pick a weekday or a Saturday to early vote when the time arrives—it’s your choice, just like voting is your choice.
Giving Back to the Community
Philanthropy is extremely important for the attorneys and staff of Bordas & Bordas. After all, what good are record results if they’re not shared with the community and people who support you? Detailed below are just a few of the many recent organizations and events Bordas & Bordas is honored to be involved with. Catholic Charities of West Virginia provides comprehensive social services to the poor and vulnerable in an effort to alleviate poverty, distress and injustice in the Northern Panhandle. The organization relies heavily on the generosity of others to fully carry out its mission. Catholic Charities of West Virginia put on their sixth annual Gala, aptly named “Impressions of Hope,” on Feb. 27 to garner financial support for their wholesome efforts. Bordas & Bordas was a major sponsor yet again this year. The Mel Blount Youth Home of Pennsylvania strives to help local youth develop mentally, physically and morally while teaching them to be good citizens and members of society. The Home offers an environment in which children can learn, work, play and develop a deep sense of responsibility and respect for one another. The establishment's chief fundraiser is the Mel Blount Youth Home All-Star Celebrity Roast, an event that consistently plays host to a number of famous personalities. Hundreds gathered at Pittsburgh’s Westin Convention Center on April 1 to support the cause. Bordas & Bordas sponsored and attended this great event. Crittenton Services, Inc. is one of West Virginia’s first trauma-informed, multi-service agencies. They have offered comprehensive behavioral health services that enrich the health of young girls, children and families for 120 years. Crittenton’s largest fundraiser is their annual Paint the Town Pink which generates funds that directly benefit the children and families served by the organization. The 2016’s event was held on April 9. Ninety-five percent of students enrolled at Wheeling Jesuit University receive scholarship support to attend. A large portion of the scholarship funds is generated by WJU’s annual Gaudiosa, which has raised nearly $200,000 in the past two years alone. The 2016 event on April 16 featured an elegant dinner, entertaining performances, great company and an outstanding mission: to make a Wheeling Jesuit University education achievable for so many people. The firm has a wonderful relationship with West Liberty University and wholeheartedly supports their efforts. The institution recently held their annual Great Gala on April 30 at Oglebay’s Glessner Auditorium. Proceeds from this year’s gala support WLU’s College of Arts and Communication. We were happy to contribute to the cause. Bordas & Bordas is honored to be involved with so many wonderful groups and events. We will continue to reach out to and partner with community members who share our passion for making a difference. As always, we encourage everyone to support these very worthy causes.
CAN'T IT BE MOTHER'S DAY EVERY DAY?
Over the years, I have shared with you the experiences I have had with my family, particularly with my children. This subject is so easy for me to talk about because they mean absolutely everything to me. I have joked about their antics, bragged about their accomplishments, been open about the struggles of balancing work and family and have been candid about the most intimate thoughts I have had on adoption and its challenges that come with it. You name it, and I have talked about it. Mother’s Day is right around the corner and usually my day is very fulfilling, but this year, I find myself a bit down. Nothing has changed, but soon will and that is the source of my uneasiness. In the very near future, my son will be leaving for college. I began feeling the tightening in my chest about a year and a half ago and now the time has come. In a matter of weeks, he graduates from high school and off he will go. Realistically, I know he will come home and visit. I know many things will remain the same. But as a mother, I am saddened because I don’t want him to go away. I will miss him terribly. He, on the other hand, can’t wait to have this experience. I wonder if he will come home for the next Mother’s Day or if this is it? I understand it’s his time to experience the world and grow. It’s his time to see the world as an adult and not from behind the doors of our home on Pinewood Drive. So, this Mother’s Day, I don’t want any of it to be about me. I want it to be all about them. My daughters are still at home and will be for some time to come. Mother’s Day comes easy for them. We’re girls. They know what I like and why I like it. I know they will make me breakfast in bed and design special cards. They will always make sure I get some rest, get to shop, go out to eat or whatever I choose. They are so thoughtful and know all the things that make me smile. It has always been different with my son. Our bonding was usually over something like a game of one-on-one basketball, something he knew I had no chance at. Or he would golf and let me drive the cart. Sometimes it would be watching a movie, even if it was about football or some episode of his latest series he was into on On-Demand. He didn’t correct me if I blurted out a dumb comment from lack of knowledge in the area. He included me in his life. I knew it frustrated him to no end watching me try to even do some of these things with him. These things that were outside of my normal day-to-day activities, but he let me join in on anyway because it was his way of showing me he cared. One of the hardest things I have to do is let him go and be his own person to do all things that he is excited about and he wants to do. This Mother’s Day has a touch of sadness for me because I know he’s leaving soon. I have had him for 18 years, keeping him safe. I have given him a loving home. I have taught him the importance of God and family. I’ve instilled in him values of understanding and kindness and set the best example I knew how. I apologized for mistakes I made along the way and taught him to do the same. So, now I guess it’s time to set him free. Free to fly in this world. Son, take my love with you and look back on those games when you made time for me to be a part of your world. Know how special you always made Mother’s Day for me.
Barley and Guinness have a Nephew?
When my oldest son moved to Florida for a new job on Little Gasparilla Island, he couldn’t take his recue dog, Jackson, with him, so my son looked at me and said, “Will you please keep him until I can get him?” I looked at him and said, “Yes,” with my husband looking at me like I was crazier than ever. He asked me, “Why would you tell him yes?” I looked at him and said, “I didn’t hear you pipe in and say NO!” Jackson is now a very big part of our family and Barley and Guinness are happy to have him at the house with them. He is our protector and the one who thinks he’s a lap dog. Jackson is half lab and half mountain cur. Our son adopted him from the Greenbrier Animal Shelter when he worked at the Greenbrier as a chef. I’m very proud of my son for adopting a dog from a shelter and, as a matter of fact, Jackson was a broken dog. He went to a family twice and was taken back to the shelter twice. They said he couldn’t get along with his sister, which they kept. Jackson and his sister were found out in the woods all alone, hungry and in very bad shape. Jackson’s tail was broken and had to be amputated to a hooked stub. He was also broken in spirit. He was in the paper and this was Jackson last and final chance to find a furever home or they would have to put him down. Our son went and looked at him and took him home that very day. Our son worked very long hours at his job so Jackson was alone most of the time and he did just fine. When we would go down to visit our son we took Barley and Guinness with us and the three of them would play and have a very good time. It was a no brainer to keep Jackson in our family. Barley and Guinness love him, my husband loves him and if you know me at all, I loved him from the first day I set eyes on him. Jackson is staying with us. Our son has come to terms with that and it wasn’t easy for him to do so, but he knew in his heart it was the best thing for Jackson. So now Barley and Guinness are Uncle Barley and Uncle Guinness to Jackson. They have no clue what this all means, but it’s so much fun to tell people about our all three of our boys, my two, four-legged children and my one, four-legged grandson. Life is good at our house with our four-legged boys. Remember, don’t shop, adopt from your local animal shelters. If you want to support a local animal shelter here in the Ohio Valley, Moundsville Animal Shelter is hosting a Wine Tasting fundraiser on May 12, 2016. I will be serving wine that night to help raise money for the shelter. For more information about the event, call the shelter at (304) 845-9770. Bark on, Bordas dog nation, bark on.
The Electoral College
Voting is one of our most precious American rights, but yet many of us do not understand the process by which our President, the leader of the free world, is selected. Many of the Founding Fathers were well schooled in ancient history and its lessons. So, it is no accident that the structure of the Electoral College can be traced to the Centurial Assembly system of the Roman Republic. Under that system, the adult male citizens of Rome were divided, according to their wealth, into groups of 100 (called Centuries). Each group of 100 was entitled to cast only one vote either in favor or against proposals submitted to them by the Roman Senate. In the Electoral College system, the States serve as the Centurial groups (though they are not, of course, based on wealth), and the number of votes per State is determined by the size of each State's Congressional delegation. The Electoral College was created for two reasons. The first purpose was to create a buffer between population and the selection of a President. The second as part of the structure of the government that gave extra power to the smaller states. Direct election was rejected not because the Framers of the Constitution doubted public intelligence, but rather because they feared that without sufficient information about candidates from outside their State, people would naturally vote for a "favorite son" from their own State or region. Many of the founders believed that the electors would be able to insure that only a qualified person becomes President. They believed that with the Electoral College no one would be able to manipulate the citizenry. It would act as check on an electorate that might be duped. The founders also believed that the Electoral College had the advantage of being a group that met only once and thus could not be manipulated over time by foreign governments or others. The Electoral College consists of 538 electors. A majority of 270 electoral votes is required to elect the President. Each state’s entitled allotment of electors equals the number of members in its Congressional delegation: one for each member in the House of Representatives plus two for your Senators. Under the 23rd Amendment of the Constitution, the District of Columbia is allocated three electors and treated like a state for purposes of the Electoral College. The process for selecting Electors varies throughout the United States. Generally, the political parties nominate Electors. On Election Day, the voters in each State choose the Electors by casting votes for the presidential candidate of their choice. The winning candidate in each State—except in Nebraska and Maine, is awarded all of the State’s Electors. In Nebraska and Maine, the state winner receives two Electors and the winner of each congressional district receives one Elector. This system permits the Electors from Nebraska and Maine to be awarded to more than one candidate. There is no Constitutional provision or Federal law that requires Electors to vote according to the results of the popular vote in their States. Some States (not Pennsylvania), however, require Electors to cast their votes according to the popular vote. These pledges fall into two categories—Electors bound by State law and those bound by pledges to political parties. The U.S. Supreme Court has held that the Constitution does not require that Electors be completely free to act as they choose and therefore, political parties may extract pledges from electors to vote for the parties’ nominees. Some State laws provide that so-called "faithless Electors"; may be subject to fines or may be disqualified for casting an invalid vote and be replaced by a substitute elector. The Supreme Court has not specifically ruled on the question of whether pledges and penalties for failure to vote as pledged may be enforced under the Constitution. No Elector has ever been prosecuted for failing to vote as pledged. Since the founding of the Electoral College, there have been 156 faithless Electors. Seventy-one of these votes were changed because the original candidate died before the day on which the Electoral College cast their votes. Three of the votes were not cast at all. These three Electors chose to abstain from casting their Electoral vote for any candidate. The other 82 Electoral votes were changed on the personal initiative of the Elector. Sometimes Electors changed their votes in large groups, such as when 23 Virginia Electors acted together in 1836. Many times, these Electors stood alone in their decision. Four times in our Nation's history the President won the election despite not having the popular vote. In 1824, John Quincy Adams was elected president despite not winning either the popular vote or the electoral vote. Andrew Jackson was the winner in both categories. Jackson received 38,000 more popular votes than Adams, and beat him in the electoral vote 99 to 84. Despite his victories, Jackson didn’t reach the majority 131 votes needed in the Electoral College to be declared president. In fact, neither candidate did. The decision went to the House of Representatives, which voted Adams into the White House. In 1876, Rutherford B. Hayes won the election (by a margin of one electoral vote), but he lost the popular vote by more than 250,000 ballots to Samuel J. Tilden. In 1888, Benjamin Harrison received 233 electoral votes to Grover Cleveland’s 168, winning the presidency. But Harrison lost the popular vote by more than 90,000 votes. In 2000, George W. Bush was declared the winner of the general election and became the 43rd president, but he didn’t win the popular vote either. Al Gore holds that distinction, garnering about 540,000 more votes than Bush. However, Bush won the electoral vote, 271 to 266. Throughout our history as a nation however, more than 99 percent of Electors have voted as pledged. Please go out and vote. Your vote does matter. Without it, we would not be able to debate issues surrounding the voting process. For instance, without the popular vote, on the Democratic side, we would not have sufficient information to determine whether “super delegates” are appropriate. On the Republican side, without the popular vote, we would not be able to have an intelligent discuss whether it is appropriate to preclude voters from voting in the primary, like in Colorado, or, in Louisiana where the winner of the populous vote did not win the majority of the delegates. The only way we can have these discussions and truly understand how important your vote is, is if one votes.
Dream Vacation
The sun is finally shining! With the first thoughts of summer come the images of vacation. When I was growing up we didn’t really take vacations. We did go several times to Bear Lake, Mich., and stayed in a cottage right across from the lake. I remember those times so clearly even though I was only five or six years old. When we were in our early teens we started camping and every weekend at the lake was a mini-vacation. One year when I was in high school we went to Disney for Christmas. When I got married and had kids, we did a few vacations. We also had a camper and went camping in the summer as much as possible. We went to Myrtle Beach a couple of times and Rehoboth Beach once. We also took the kids to Disney and took a trip to Asheville, N.C., to visit my sister. The highlight of that vacation was taking the kids to a drive-in movie to see Ghostbusters! As an adult I have had a couple of vacations to San Diego and I’ve been to Naples, Fla. quite a few times. At this point in my life, my vacations are visiting my daughter and grandkids in Miami and visiting my friend, Carla, in Texas. Don’t get me wrong, those are my favorite vacations of all time but I still have that dream vacation in the back of my mind. My dream vacation would be to travel to Tahiti and stay in an over the water bungalow! Of course, I would need a cabana boy to bring me fancy drinks and gourmet food. I could recline in a lounge chair on the deck of the bungalow all day and just drink up the sun and the fancy drinks the cabana boy delivers. Can you imagine going to bed and listening to the water all around you? While I am sure there are plenty of things to do at these Tahiti resorts, I don’t think I would even leave the bungalow, unless of course, they took away my cabana boy! I doubt I will ever have the opportunity to make my dream vacation a reality but it’s fun to have a dream vacation. What’s yours?
Is It Possible To Live A Life With No Regrets?
I came across an article in one of my online news feeds recently which set forth a list of life regrets that you don’t want to have when you are facing the end of life. Some of them spoke to me. Others, like not traveling enough or not pursuing your dream job, did not. Traveling is OK and I do enjoy seeing new places, but I tend to like being just where I am, in good old Wheeling, W.Va. And I guess I’m a little too practical to pursue a dream job when there are bills to pay. That said, the other “regrets” identified really caused me to pause and think, and I wanted to see what others had to say. After reading quite a few online articles on life regrets, I saw the following “regrets” mentioned over and over again and a theme started to became apparent. See if you can identify it. Regret: Losing yourself to make others happy. This is a big one. We all want our friends and loved ones to be happy. Many of us will do whatever we think it takes to make them happy. When your life is focused on doing what everyone else wants you to do or thinks you should do, you eventually begin to lose yourself and your own happiness. Of course, if you take the risk and stop focusing on making others happy, the others will definitely not be happy at first. However, a harsh reality, though, is that everyone is responsible for their own happiness. If you lose yourself and your happiness trying to make someone else happy, no one is happy in the end. Regret: I didn’t express my feelings or didn’t express them soon enough. Did you ever just feel a connection to someone, something different than what you ordinarily experience? Was there ever that one person who it’s just easy to be with? This is definitely a high-risk, high reward situation. You risk embarrassment, rejection and maybe the loss of a good friend if you express your feelings. But what if the feelings are mutual? Then, the possibilities are endless. A corollary to this is not waiting too long to express your feelings because you don’t think circumstances are right or you are waiting for the “perfect” time. There is no perfect time and waiting too long may result in the loss of an opportunity for something great if your “other” has moved in a different direction in the interim. Regret: I stayed in an unhappy relationship. Every article mentioned, in some form or another, the regret of staying in a painful or loveless relationship out of the fear of change, loneliness and hurting those closest to you, including your children. Whether you are talking about a romantic relationship or not, the consensus was the same: leaving the relationship resulted in everyone being much happier in the long run even though the initial transition period was extremely difficult. Regret: Living the life others saw for me instead of the one I wanted to live. It’s a fact of life that expectations are placed on us throughout our life by parents, family, friends, loved one, teachers and colleagues. Many times, what is expected doesn’t necessarily correspond with what we want or what is best for us. Nevertheless, we continue to do what is expected because we don’t want to disappoint the person or persons who placed the expectation on us. Yes, going against expectations is extremely difficult and scary. However, in the end you only have one life to live and you should live the life you want and not the one others want you to live. Regret: Worrying too much about what others thought of me. One thing we can’t control in life is someone else’s thoughts and feelings. The main thing is to be true to yourself. If you let the fear of disappointing or hurting someone else control how you live your life, you may never get to live the life that will make you happy and fulfilled. Sometimes standing up for what you believe in will turn others away, but in the end there is one person in this world that you cannot live without and that is you. People who don’t know you may have harsh words at first, but they will quickly forget. People who do know and love you may not be happy at first, but, in the end, will always want what is best for you. If you have the courage to stay true to yourself, everything else will work itself out even if it doesn’t look like it in the short term. Regret: Not trusting that voice in the back of my head more. We all have it. Whether we call it our heart (like I do), our intuition or the little voice in the back of my head, there are things we just know. More often than not, we can’t explain how or why we know this, but we just know. Also, more often than not, what that little voice is telling us to do isn’t what our head or others say we should do. So far in my life, my biggest regrets have come when I followed what my head or others said I should do and didn’t listen to my heart. Have you seen the theme yet? It is being true to yourself even if that means someone else may be unhappy in the short term. It’s a lesson I wished I learned long ago. Although you can’t change the past, it is never too late to move out of your comfort zone and start taking the risks that may lead you to a life you’ve only dreamed of having and never thought possible. Remember that catch phrase Robin William’s character in Dead Poets Society made popular? Carpe Diem. Seize the day. Tomorrow is not promised.
Role Reversal
It’s that time in life when roles between parent and child start reversing. After saving, planning and carrying out many years of family vacations for my two children and myself, it’s finally paying off! My daughter and her family have invited me to join them this year at Disney World and my son and his family have invited me to join them on vacation to Williamsburg/Busch Gardens/Virginia Beach. What a sweet surprise to be invited to join them! More than just getting away from the hustle and bustle of a 40-hour work week -- more than spending my time and effort in planning – and more than incurring the full expense of a family vacation by myself – the real joy is the fact that they actually WANT me to join them. Makes me think I may have done at least one thing right as a single parent.
THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY OF BEING OVERLY COMPETITIVE
I’ll admit it: I’ve always had a competitive streak. For as long as I can remember, I’ve played to win. I’ve always been driven to do my best. For better or worse, it’s something that’s worked its way into almost every area of my life. I’ve written before how much I liked playing softball when I was a kid. I even played in an adult league when I came home from college every summer. My wife, Brenda, and I were still dating in those days, and I would call every few days just to check in. Brenda swears that she knew within the first minute of our conversation if I had won or lost my latest ball game. Apparently I was pretty cranky if my team lost! Throughout my college years I struggled to keep my competitiveness in check. Even the simplest card game could turn into a cage match if I wasn’t careful. Brenda could tell many stories, I’m sure. But I began noticing a real change in my way of thinking and my behavior when I had kids of my own. Kids love to play games. But I wasn’t the kid anymore. No, I was supposed to be the grown up. I was supposed to be the one setting a good example for my kids to follow. So I had to learn how to play for fun instead of always playing to win. I even found myself losing intentionally so I could pique their interest and keep them playing. That wasn’t an easy adjustment for a win-at-all-costs player like me! I like to think I’ve done a lot of growing in my 55 years on this planet. I like to think I’ve become a better winner and a better loser. But, believe me, the struggle is still very real. Every time we have a family gathering we play a board game that’s called “Settlers of Catan.” The game is set in the 1700s. The object is to build as many roads, villages and cities as you can using the resources that are available. There’s a lot of bartering involved--and that’s where things start to get ugly. It seems that everybody enjoys teaming up against me and having a little fun at my expense. So what happens when I innocently ask, “Does anyone have any brick?” I get the silent treatment. I know they’ve got brick in their hands. I know it! I saw them drawing brick cards with my own eyes, for Pete’s sake! But they say nothing, hoping to gain an advantage by keeping me from getting the resources I need. It’s so exasperating! My nephew, Bryan, says that he knows their strategy if working when he sees the veins popping out in my neck. Unfortunately, that’s probably true. It’s safe to say that I’ve come a long way. Competition has its place, but playing games should also be a way of promoting friendship, team building and critical thinking. Playing games should also be a source of enjoyment, not drudgery. Those are a few of the things I’ve learned through the years. But, in all honesty, I still have a long way to go. I still haven’t passed the “vein” test. When I can play a game of Catan without my neck veins giving away how aggravated I really am, I’ll know I’ve truly arrived…
SPRINGTIME ON THE FARM
After the long winter we’ve had it is so good to finally feel the warmth of the sunshine and to see blue skies. I love this time of year when everything is “new” again—the grass is a brilliant shade of green, my magnolia and dogwood are in bloom, and my lilies, tulips, and hostas are all poking up through the ground. In addition to the changes in the temperatures and the foliage, there are many other things going on at our farm. It seems several people I know, including us, spent last week building new fence for the cattle. We have also had 11 newborn calves so far this spring, with three more expected. I’ll admit, despite the fact I have lived on a farm most of my life, I am not a fan of cattle (but I love pigs)! To put it nicely, they are not the brightest of animals. What other animal will go to the farthest boundary of the field, next to a steep hill, to decide to give birth? Apparently ours do, and then what ultimately happens is the newborn calf rolls down over the hill clear to the bottom and can’t get back up to its mother. My son has performed two calf rescues this season, both of them taking place while we were on vacation. I’m glad he was home looking out for things and, thankfully, both babies were okay and are now thriving. I do have to admit that even though cows are not my favorite, the little calves are very cute to watch when they are running and playing in the field. In addition to the new babies being born, it is also time to start thinking about planting a garden. We have planted a garden every year that we have been married except one. There is nothing like eating a fresh tomato picked out of your garden—they just don’t compare to what you buy in the store. I freeze and can almost all of the produce we get from our garden, so it does save quite a bit of money at the grocery store. In addition, I have the satisfaction of knowing that I am feeding my family a quality product that is all natural and organic. Since I have a lot of produce still left over from last year’s garden, this year we are changing things a bit and although I will still plant some of the usual green beans, corn and tomatoes, I am not going to plant quite as much. Instead, we are going to do a section of the garden just for fun and plant pumpkins and gourds to use for fall decorations. Living on a farm and raising livestock and produce is a never-ending job—there is always something to do. Your livestock will require medical care; hay will need to be cut and baled to feed them in the winter, which means fertilizer will need spread on your fields; barns and stalls need cleaned out regularly; fence and farm equipment need maintained; your garden will need plowed, weeded, fertilized and watered, etc., etc. The chores on a farm are varied and many, but all of the hard work can be very rewarding. So the next time you go to a grocery store and pick up some produce or a package of steaks, someone, somewhere, put in a lot of hard work to bring that food to your table—and they probably wouldn’t change a thing.
THE CICADAS ARE COMING! THE CICADAS ARE COMING!
Discussing with my husband why I wanted to delay opening our pool this year with my curious teenager listening, I pled my case with the little information that I knew about the 17-year locust and the fact that this spring marks a year that they will emerge from the ground. I know they will come for a few weeks, be a bit of a nuisance and then be gone, so I just thought we should wait. I certainly don’t want to be out there swatting them away from me or the pool! Well, I didn’t realize the impact this would have on my daughter until the other day. Dealing with the typical mid-week exhaustion, I was running errands after work including some grocery shopping when I was walking through the aisles of our local Kroger store and my cell phone started ringing. Expecting to hear the latest request to be added to my shopping list, I was rather shocked to hear a crackling voice of terror on the other side of the phone from my 15-year-old daughter, Aleigha, because her personality is not anywhere near frantic. In fact, she is the calmest one of us all. It was just then that she managed to get the words out, “I don’t know what I just did or what I just clicked on…” At that moment when I realized she was not harmed, my immediate thought then went to WHAT DID SHE DO TO MY COMPUTER? Then she said, “These things are so scary. I am not going outside at all!” Remember now, she is 15, so she has no idea what this 17-year phenomenon entails. Yep. She looked up a cicada. I agree with her 100 percent that these things are very scary to look at and the thought of them flying around and possibly landing on my head makes my stomach turn, but for the sake of the children, I know I must be strong, so I explained that they would only come for a few weeks and be gone. That was not good enough. Nope. My Aleigha did some research and wanted to look for holes in our yard so we could spray those holes and the bugs would not have the opportunity to emerge from the ground. Again, being the strong one here, I suggested that perhaps because it snowed in April, that many won’t be able to even rise out of the ground and we may just have a mild case. Not good enough either. More research. Every noise she hears outside she thinks are the locust coming. I explain that she will know the noise when they arrive. It is a hum you just recognize. Now as we are not so enthusiastically awaiting the arrival of the cicadas, we have gone over our calendar to develop strategies for how we will handle our outside events during this timeframe. Basically, we do not have a plan. We can’t say for sure what this spring will bring or how long it will last, but as I explained to my daughter, I do not ever remember the locust being so bad that it made any particular impact on me, so hopefully this will come to pass quicker than not. So, we haven’t opened the pool yet and we decided to go out west on vacation to run away for a little relief once they arrive. In the meantime, we will try to face them fearlessly, but I have a feeling you may hear a couple screaming girls here in the Valley in the very near future.
Young Adult Children Still Living at Home
I hear and see young adult children still living at home a lot these days. (I have one who still lives at home.) People will ask, why do they still live with you? Well, it’s just easier and cheaper for them to live in our homes/basements than to move out on their own. Some are not good with their money and would be evicted and broke before they even moved in to their new place, others have student loans that they have to pay back before they can even think of moving out. Then there are the credit cards that most of them have that they think they don’t need to pay on every month, which will destroy their credit for almost the rest of their lives. We as parents try to make sure our children learn the value of working for and using money, but no matter how hard we try, some of our children have to learn the hard way and hit rock bottom with finances before they truly understand the big bad real world of credit and money. College campuses are filled with credit card companies giving out “free” gifts if you sign up for their card on that day. They extend what I think is an outrageous credit limit to these children and most don’t have jobs to pay the bill when it comes due. They are too busy buying stuff that they think they need. It’s really just stuff they want and by the end of all this, they are in way over their heads and drowning in debt. This, to me, is why most young adults live at home with their parents. Plus we still feed them, do their laundry, keep the house clean, cook and last but not least, keep a roof over their heads and they know most parents will never ask/tell them to leave. We love our children so much that we are a willing to let them live with us for the rest of our lives, or do we pay for them to live in their own place? Regardless of how it works out, it’s scary to think if something happens to me, what will happen to them? I raised two boys the same way. One went off to college and has lived on his own ever since and he’s out of state. My other son still lives at home with us and he tell us all the time that he’s living with us until he’s 50. Only 25 more years to go!!! It’s OK for our kids to live with us. At least we get to see them once in awhile as opposed to having a child move out or away and never seeing them. We love our children no matter where they live. Just remember, we may have to live with our children in what they call our “golden years.” We can repay them for when they lived with us all those years ago!!!! Rock on, people. Rock on.