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I’m Proud of my daughter for who she IS, not what she DOES

· 9 min read
Often times, we find ourselves discussing people for what they DO, and not for who they ARE. My daughter, Alexis, accomplished something Friday night that no one else in the history of Wheeling Park High School has ever done at her age-scored 1000 points as a sophomore. A HUGE achievement and honor that has put a lot of attention on her. I write this beaming with pride for her knowing how hard she worked and all the blood, sweat, and tears that went into achieving such a feat. Yet, I share my words so that she will always remember that she is so much more than the success she achieves.nnAlexis is no stranger to the spotlight or breaking records in her basketball career. She’s been an AAU National Champion, she’s been a two-time Elk’s National Free Throw Participant, she never lost a game her entire Middle School career at SVS, she was the first Freshman to score 50 points in a single game at Wheeling Park, she was the first Freshman to ever be named 1st Team All State at WPHS, she was the youngest person WLU has ever offered a full scholarship to in the history of the University… Most recently, she was the first sophomore that has ever scored 1000 points at WPHS. I could go on and on about her accolades. There is quite an impressive list of things that I am so proud of her for. But these are all things you can find by googling her name, or reading an article, or searching her social media page. These are things that Alexis has DONE, but it is not who Alexis IS.nnEach and every accolade and milestone Alexis reaches fills my heart with so much joy and pride, as any mother will tell you. But at night when I close my eyes and thank God for the gift of her, I thank him for the gifts Alexis brings to the world that are not necessarily as tangible or well known as the ones you find in the newspaper. They are the gifts that only those who truly KNOW Alexis can testify to. And no one knows her better than me!nnIt is no secret that Alexis is a determined, hard-working and driven young lady in all aspects of her life, not just basketball. These traits I know will serve her well in life as she continues to shed God’s light on others. Sometimes I think society accepts someone’s success more easily if it came from hard work rather than good fortune. We say “she deserves this or that because she works so hard.” To Alexis, none of it has ever felt like work. I realized Friday night as I stood in the long line of people waiting courtside to congratulate her on her accomplishment, that Alexis has so many people that are rooting for her, happy for her, and that are being inspired by her. That touches a mother more deeply than the number of points she scores. As I stood there awaiting my turn to give her a hug, a man and his young daughter who I had never met before struck up conversation, and he asked me “How long has she been playing basketball?” I am certain as he stood there with his young, impressionable daughter, he was going to make some point to her about how long Alexis has been playing or how hard she works. I thought for a brief moment. At this stage of motherhood, the days are long, but the years are so very short. Bittersweet for sure. “She started playing organized basketball when she was 4.” I answered nostalgically as I could still see her sweet four year old face looking at me, with short Justice mesh shorts (you know the ones where the tee shirt was so big on her little body that it covered her shorts), and headband (often times glittery), pink water bottle sitting courtside as I coached her at the YMCA playing against first and second graders as a tiny 4 year old. The man gasped. I know his gasp was out of admiration for a young lady who had worked hard for 11 years to achieve a milestone so few ever do. But I wanted to tell him so much more about Alexis. I wanted to tell him about how much I have loved watching that little girl grow up. How I see inside her a pure and gentle soul that inspires even me every single day. I wanted to tell him all the things that I know about her that you can’t find when you google her name.nnMany who watch Alexis play basketball compliment her on some of those inner traits that manifest themselves on the court. She is described as a great teammate because you can always find Alexis there picking up a teammate who is knocked down. You can see her run over to a teammate when they are upset that they missed a shot and Alexis will tell her “Forget about it. Get the next one.” She will calm a teammate who is mad at themselves for getting another foul that will send that teammate to the bench. She will high five the one who makes a shot, point to the one who shares a great pass with her, thank the one who set a screen for her, and smile at her opponent when they have to foul her at the end of a game knowing that you can be competitors and still have mutual respect for one another. Alexis is described as coachable because she will look you in the eye and acknowledge criticism even when it’s hard to hear. Alexis has been described as even tempered while playing basketball. This is because she is guarded by the other team’s best player, double teamed, held, jersey pulled on, etc., yet you’ll never get a rise out of her. No more than you’ll ever see her get overly emotional and hyped up when all is going her way. She conducts herself with class and has good body language. Those things won’t be written in the record books, but they can be witnessed when you watch her play.nnWhat many don’t know and can’t see is how she analyzes film, how she breaks down the game and stats, how self aware she is, and that she will be the first person to tell you the things that make the TEAM better. She notices when certain players play more, how they impact the game. She notices when certain players score more points, they win the game. She’s less concerned with the affect things have on her and more concerned with how things affect the TEAM. Basketball is a team sport that requires so much from each and every person that takes the court. Each player has a specific and valuable role on the team. Alexis’ role has always been to score for her team. A role that she earned because she is a fantastic shooter. But that role comes with enormous responsibility. Often times, you can feel like you let your team down if you didn’t score enough. People judge the numbers they see if they aren’t as high as they usually are. Opponents’ game plans center around stopping you. Things are great when they’re great, but low when they’re low. There is a mental component to that, and it’s the part that ensures success long after Alexis’ days on the court are finished. You must be able to take the criticism as well as you take the praise. Alexis does just that!nnAfter Alexis scored her 1000th point Friday night and we were inundated with congratulatory wishes and compliments, we smiled with pride. But the messages that meant the most to us were the messages received that spoke about Alexis’ heart, her personality, her goodness. Parents from the Eastern Panhandle telling me that their daughter’s school used Alexis as an example to their young athletes. People who told me how much their daughter looks up to Alexis, even sharing an excerpt of what they wrote about her in an essay. People telling me what a great young lady she is. People that study her body language and interaction with her coaches and teammates and complimented her. People that work at WPHS who told me how polite she always is. Teachers who texted who interact with her daily and know her as more than just the girl that scores a lot of points on the basketball team. Referees who pointed out her excellent fundamentals, but raved about her exemplary attitude. Those people touched my heart because they were complimenting Alexis for who she IS and not just for what she DOES.nnShe inspires me daily to live a life with a pure heart filled with good intentions for all (even those who have done her wrong). She sees the good in every situation and in all people (even when they give her reasons not to). She respects her competitors and encourages her teammates. She’s got a lot of little eyes on her and sets the right example. The coolest thing about Friday night and Alexis scoring her 1000th point as a sophomore is that she did it on a night that her TEAM set a record no other team at WPHS had ever set - 20 wins in a regular season! If you ask Alexis what her next goal is, she will tell you the same one she’s had since she started her high school basketball career- TO WIN A STATE CHAMPIONSHIP!nnSports are filled with highs and lows. Mountains and valleys. The good days are always more fun than the bad ones. But when you measure success by who a person IS and not by what a person DOES the line is more steady and the road is more smooth. Someday when I am gone, or when Alexis is a mom herself, I want her to know that the person she IS meant more to me than any award she won, any standards she set, or any record she broke. If she someday is blessed with a daughter of her own that shares her love of basketball, if she is lucky enough to coach her daughter like I did her for many years, I hope that she passes on the most important traits that she possesses- the ones within her heart. I am so proud of my sweet, kind, talented girl! That 1000 point club just hits different when your daughter joins you in it!nnAlexis- may you always remember that winning is fun, accolades make you smile, and breaking/setting records is amazing, but nothing will ever feel as good as being a good person/doing good for others, being kind, and showing grace. Never change who you ARE!
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