A Father's Reflections on a New Chapter in Life
For all of the young couples out there, I'm here to tell you that this business of being a parent is every bit as difficult, frustrating and exhausting as you have heard. Doing it right, or at least trying to do it right, is a 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days per year job. Being a parent will be the greatest source of stress, worry and heartache you will ever experience. And despite all of that-despite all of the work, the worry, the terrible twos, the teen years, and the "you're too old to understand what I'm going throughs"-I would do it all again in a heartbeat. Along with my wife, my daughters (Brittany and Caitlin) and my son (John III) have brought me more happiness, pride and joy than I could ever have imagined.
The other day was a day, which, for me, was filled with conflicting emotions. I went to Wheeling to help my daughter, Brittany, load her rented truck so she could head off to Austin, Texas. She spent several years in Austin as she went through law school at the University of Texas, and last year, after graduating, she came back home to work as a law clerk for the Honorable Judge John P. Bailey of the United States District Court for the Northern District of West Virginia. Her time on that job ended a few weeks ago, so she packed up to head back to Austin, where she will work as a law clerk for the Honorable Judge Sam Sparks of the United States District Court for the Western District of Texas. I was filled with pride as I thought about my little girl and what she has accomplished thus far in her young life. At the same time, I was filled with sadness as I drove away from her empty apartment, knowing full well that she won't be coming back. The cruelest part of being a parent is that you try to raise your children to be independent and self-sufficient, and the reward for your success is their taking off for newer and bigger challenges, most of which can only be found a few thousand miles from home.
You have to allow me a few sentences to brag about my daughter. At the age of 17, she decided she wanted to spend her first year of college at Richmond International University in London, England. She headed off to a new city in a strange country where she would know absolutely no one, and she was as excited as she could be about doing it. I flew over with her, and I can still remember walking down the street after getting her settled into her dorm room, tears flowing freely. I hated London for taking my little girl away from me; I still hate London. Of course my reaction was and still is completely irrational, but parents aren't always rational when it comes to their children. After her first year of college, Britt returned to the States to spend another year at American University in Washington, D.C., and her last two years at Southern Methodist University in Dallas. You have to know my daughter to appreciate what a wonderful contradiction it was to see her at SMU. Britt is as liberal and idealistic as anyone I know, and SMU is a bastion of conservatism. She used to put her short hair up into a sort of fake Mohawk, just to make sure folks knew she was different than the rest of her classmates. I especially remember an episode when a female classmate confronted Brittany in the parking lot about something that had happened earlier in class. Words were exchanged, and in proper conservative fashion the young girl slapped my daughter in the face. In proper West Virginia fashion, Britt responded by dropping the young lady with a hard right to the nose. Conservative Texas, meet West-by-God-Virginia. Pleased to make your acquaintance.
Brittany was graduated from SMU Magna Cum Laude, and was inducted into the nation's oldest and most prestigious honor society, Phi Beta Kappa. She was accepted into law school at the University of Texas, where in her first year she won the Thad T. Hutcheson Moot Court Competition over 300+ other students. In her second year she was selected for membership on the Texas Law Review, and in her third year she served as Articles Editor for that nationally-known publication. She was graduated in 2013 as a member of the Order of the Coif, reflecting her rank as one of the top students in her class. She had employment offers from literally every one of the top international law firms in the country, along with offers to clerk for several federal judges across the U.S. In her usual fashion, Britt chose the job she felt would be most challenging and rewarding. So, after a year in Wheeling, she is off again to Austin, only this time I'm betting it's for good.
I suppose I've always known that Britt would never be happy staying in West Virginia. Don't get me wrong, she loves the area and she loves her home. It's just that ever since she was a little girl, she has always needed to have new adventures, new frontiers to explore and conquer. I can still remember something she said to my Dad when she was about 4 years old. Whenever I would take Britt to visit my parents, Dad would put her into her Big Wheel, and they would take a ride down the sidewalk and around the block. Before they took off on their ride, Dad would always make Britt promise she would go slowly so that he could keep up. She never did. One day after she had ridden off for what seemed like the 100th time, Dad asked her why she kept breaking her promise. I can still see the sparkle in her eyes as she told him "I'm sorry, but I just have to go fast, Granddaddy." I know Dad understood.
So, as my daughter heads off to begin the next part of her life, I hope she remembers the things I tried to teach her over the past 28 years. Be confident in your abilities; you can be anything in this world you want to be. Take the time to enjoy life along the way; work hard and play hard. Treat everyone you meet with kindness and respect. And most of all, remember that whatever happens and wherever it happens, your Dad will always be there for you. Always. Now go ahead and go fast, my Little Hugger. Granddaddy will be proud.
For all of the young couples out there, I'm here to tell you that this business of being a parent is every bit as difficult, frustrating and exhausting as you have heard. Doing it right, or at least trying to do it right, is a 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days per year job. Being a parent will be the greatest source of stress, worry and heartache you will ever experience. And despite all of that-despite all of the work, the worry, the terrible twos, the teen years, and the "you're too old to understand what I'm going throughs"-I would do it all again in a heartbeat. Along with my wife, my daughters (Brittany and Caitlin) and my son (John III) have brought me more happiness, pride and joy than I could ever have imagined.
