Can I drive?

About a month ago, I took my oldest daughter to Moundsville to test for her learner’s permit. She had turned 15 in February and was very eager to get behind the wheel.  Many of her friends failed the test the first time and even the second, so I was fully prepared to take her home disappointed……and that was ok because I was going to be totally relieved.  So when she emerged from the testing room smiling from ear to ear I knew she passed and I immediately felt a small, sick feeling in my stomach.  I’m not ready for this.  I’m not ready to put my child out on the same roads that I drive everyday and witness others speeding, talking on the phone, texting and tailgating.

She made me take a picture of her in front of the DMV holding her permit.  She was so proud of her accomplishment, as she should be.  When we were getting in the car she asked, “Can I drive?” I knew it was coming.  There were so many ways I could have answered that question, but I calmly looked at her and explained she needed experience before she got out on the road with other cars.  We could start in a parking lot or in our quiet neighborhood first.  She accepted that answer and the conversation shifted to another topic.  And then we passed a parking lot…. “Can I drive?” – no there’s too many parked cars in that one.  Here comes another lot……. “Can I drive?” – oops, I already passed the entrance to that one and can’t turn around.  Another topic shift and soon I was making the turn to enter our neighborhood.  “Can I drive?”……oh my God, fine ….we will try this. After all, she had backed out of the driveway before and drove slightly down the street from our house and seemed to do well…it can’t be that bad and I have to let her do it eventually.  To make a long story short, that day she hit the gas instead of the brake and almost took out the neighborhood bus stop.  My husband took her driving the next few times.

I have to say she has improved greatly since that first day with me in the car.  She is a smart girl and her dad and I trust that she will make good decisions on the road.  However, I am dreading the day she ultimately pulls out of the driveway alone.  For now, I am happy to let her tag along with me happily chirping, “Can I drive?”